5 tips for dealing with difficult conversations
Initiating a tricky conversation is never straightforward — if it was, it wouldn't be tricky! That said, there are ways to alleviate some of the awkwardness and anxiety.
Go in with a different mindset
When going into the meeting, remove the label difficult from the conversation. If you are delivering a tough performance review, think of it as constructive criticism rather than a negative review. Making these small changes in your thoughts will help calm your nerves.
Show compassion
If you are delivering bad news, be kind and considerate. What we mean by this is don't be blunt but at the same don't be too emotional. For example, by opening with, this is difficult for me to say, is asking the recipient of bad news to sympathise, which isn't a good employee experience for both of you — to say the least.
Take your time and listen
As tempting as it can be, don't rush bad news. By all means, keep the pace of the conversation going, but don't skim. The faster you talk, the more likely you are to choose the wrong words and fumble what you are trying to say.
Make notes but don't follow a script
Writing a detailed outline or script may feel reassuring, but it's more than likely that you will go off-script as the conversation flows. Moreover, you don't want to appear cold and uncaring. By all means, make notes, but don't robotically read from a page.
Reflect
Think about how you felt during the conversation and what went well. There are bound to have been difficult moments — and some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings may have bubbled to the surface. Is there anything you would have done differently, or would you have kept the conversation the same? Feeling neutral or uncomfortable about the meeting is fine, both are valid responses and you shouldn't feel shame for experiencing either.
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