Difficult conversations are part of working life. We've all likely had tricky experiences with colleagues or managers at some point. Be it a direct report crying during a performance review or a tough chat with a client about deadlines.
In an ideal world, work-related conversations would always be positive. People would share their praise and appreciation for each other while brainstorming and strategising together.
But the reality is quite different. Given the high-pressure environment of many workplaces, there will always be instances where difficult conversations need to be had — and sometimes, you’ll have no choice but to initiate a tough chat with a colleague, a direct report, or even someone more superior than you.
Initiating a tricky conversation is never straightforward — if it was, it wouldn't be tricky! That said, there are ways to alleviate some of the awkwardness and anxiety.
When going into the meeting, remove the label difficult from the conversation. If you are delivering a tough performance review, think of it as constructive criticism rather than a negative review. Making these small changes in your thoughts will help calm your nerves.
If you are delivering bad news, be kind and considerate. What we mean by this is don't be blunt but at the same don't be too emotional. For example, by opening with, this is difficult for me to say, is asking the recipient of bad news to sympathise, which isn't a good employee experience for both of you — to say the least.
As tempting as it can be, don't rush bad news. By all means, keep the pace of the conversation going, but don't skim. The faster you talk, the more likely you are to choose the wrong words and fumble what you are trying to say.
Writing a detailed outline or script may feel reassuring, but it's more than likely that you will go off-script as the conversation flows. Moreover, you don't want to appear cold and uncaring. By all means, make notes, but don't robotically read from a page.
Think about how you felt during the conversation and what went well. There are bound to have been difficult moments — and some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings may have bubbled to the surface. Is there anything you would have done differently, or would you have kept the conversation the same? Feeling neutral or uncomfortable about the meeting is fine, both are valid responses and you shouldn't feel shame for experiencing either.
Before you even begin thinking about how you’re going to approach the conversation, you need to analyse the situation critically. Then, decide if you should be the one to have this chat.
For instance, if a person has only recently been promoted to a manager, but one of their direct reports has a considerably bad performance review, it's a good idea to have a senior manager in the room too — who can support everyone as the tough news is being delivered.
Here are three examples of tough conversations that can happen through all levels of an organisation:
As crucial as planning is when it comes to initiating difficult conversations, it’s impossible to know exactly how things will pan out during the exchange.
The danger of being unprepared is that it becomes much easier to lose sight of what is trying to be achieved, and that’s when unnecessary conflict surfaces.
A great way to steer clear of conflict is by pitching your solution early in the conversation instead of focusing on the issue itself.
Spending too much time on the problem is a sign that emotions have gotten in the way, resulting in circular conversations of blame and finger-pointing, which is a terrible experience for all involved.
Ending on a more positive note though, if an employee begins to turn their attitude around and is thriving, recognise this change and reward that behaviour.
If you can deliver good news before criticism, do it. If you only have meetings with employees to discuss bad news, they will become disengaged pretty quickly. For this reason, you need to strike up more positive conversations too, arguably more frequently as well.
A recognition and reward strategy is an excellent way to increase engagement and is an opportunity to uplift and build morale.
With Perkbox, all of your employees get access to a real-time recognition feed, so they can show appreciation whenever they want. What's more, managers can also attach points to each message of recognition they send. Employees can exchange these points for thousands of rewards.
Tough conversations are never a great experience, though they are necessary. Consequently, some days are better than others.
To get the most out of the good times and boost employee morale, use Perkbox.
Perkbox is an all-in-one employee experience solution that offers holistic employee support. With the Perkbox app, employees get access to:
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